As cute as the little girl in the photo looks, the image reminded me of all the times growing up eating sweets. To coax me into eating my beans as a child, my mother sprinkled a teaspoon or two over my baked beans. Cereal regardless of how much sugar was already in it had at least a bit more added for good measure. I even recall stirring sugar into water in middle school because it seemed better than water all by itself.
When some colleagues and friends asked if I would return to eating sweets again after the end of the month, I honestly was not sure. I continued through the day wondering out loud at times whether I should or not.
When I created a list of pros and cons in my mind, I could not come up with many good reasons to return to eating sweets at all. I did not want to create this idea in my head that sugar was like nicotine or crack cocaine for me; however, going back to how things were before seemed ridiculous to me.
I did not think going to the old ways was even an option. But, how about maintaining a reasonable habit of eating sweets. The problem was and continues to be that I do not have a confident sense of what "normal" really would be.
I had gone pretty much cold turkey without many side effects or withdrawal symptoms to speak of really. I could go back and not really notice a difference - only if I ignore the obvious.
Since the beginning of the month, I had lost six pounds without exerting a huge amount of exercise. My oral hygiene seemed to have turned around with the added benefits of flossing everyday. Only a small hint of gingivitis was left in the back molars.
I had not seen any dramatic changes unless you count having a craving for water when thirsty instead of craving something sweet. I went from not noticing often when I was dehydrated to noticing pretty regularly how I was feeling, being able to explain the deep desire to drink water after a half the day had gone by.
There have been some pitfalls and twists around the bend that caught me off guard. The difficulties that I have had recently center around some loss of enthusiasm and emotional fatigue. I found that even these situations, sugar had been my confidant supporter and gentle buttress through stressful circumstances.
As I reflect on the last twenty-seven days, I am grateful to have made it further than I had since I was a child. I had cut down, cut out for short periods of time, or totally binged on sugar just because. I did not want to be controlled or told what to do with my food. I was stronger and better than that.
Not sure who or what I had been fighting against except for myself because I should have done this long ago. And, . . . I am glad that I took on this everyday in February. It has been a nice ride through all kinds of explorations.
I am not done. I'm going to take the next few days to consider my next steps. I like these changes and look forward to keeping it going. For today, the rewards outweigh by a long shot any negatives that may come.
The good thing about being an adult is that you do not have to be beholden to your childish impulses and mindless dabbling into nonsense. I had been as innocent looking as the child in the photo, kind of vulnerable to the family, community, and habits that nurtured me. One of the habits has been a deep fixation on anything with sugar in it.
Good to wake up and see all the possibilities. Good to not be under the thumb of cravings that seemed impossible to control or I had been unwilling to deal with. Although I'd like to savor being innocent and ignorant to taste the blissfulness that comes with it, I'd rather replace it with the guiding wisdom that has shown me a path moving forward to live my own happiness without sugar.
----------------------
Make a comment or give feedback below. Share Brother From Another Planet blog with friends or Enter your email in one easy step with button from the right column.
No comments:
Post a Comment