Day 13 - Motivation to Action

In my plans to get fit and start the process of recovering from a sweets fixation, I've concluded exercise would be a critical part of the process.  After the weekend, I started the new exercise plan fine a bit underwhelmed with nothing very inspiring. No fireworks and I did not feel the way I expected.

When I rose Monday morning, I created, while not lucid from lack of sleep, every excuse to not get up in the morning. It was 5:30 a.m., but I was up until one in the morning and did about all the little things possible to sabotage my best laid plans.

My worst enemy is oftentimes me.  I have all of intellectual reasons to get started.  I have the know-how, past experience, and ability to get the ball running.  I also have become skilled at finding ways to get in my own way.

Sometimes I wonder how I've been able to get this far with so many self-imposed obstacles. Over the next day, I'll be spending as much time on getting out of my way and staying with my plan of action.

I know this is part of the process of creating personal change.  The prior knowledge has not interrupted the feelings of frustration and disappointment.  It's the same frustration projected at others when they do not follow through or are big flakes.

I have to also remember to have self-compassion and forgiveness without being too permissive or develop a sense of entitlement otherwise I will not be able to make the changes desired.  The self-compassion and a gentle kick in the ass is a fine balance to maintain.

As I write about these subtle changes, thoughts, and feelings, it does get me moving and grooving.  So, as much of an obstacle that I can be, I can also be a radical activist to create change.  I am excited about that part of me.  I'll also need to be tolerant of that other part of me that is not so inspiring and glamorous.